You know when you’re at the cash register and suddenly can’t find your cash?
You knew you didn’t leave the house without money, but where is it? You keep digging in your bag and start to sweat, mumbling out reassurances. “It has to be right here… Just a moment, please…”
Your hands start to shake. The waiting cashier must be so annoyed with you! Your nervous system is sounding all alarm bells until finally!
Salvation!
You find the money!
You rush to hand it over and leave with your back hunched, acutely aware of how everyone behind you in line is judging you. You know you’ll replay this moment in your head for a month, cursing your “social anxiety”.
This used to be me.
I grew up in a household where I learned that inconveniencing strangers is the worst thing you could do. I learned to come quick and prepared to take up zero space.
I actually didn’t start somatic therapy to heal my so-called social anxiety. I started because I’d developed a trauma bond on a man which brought my every childhood wound to the surface.
Today I inconvenienced people. Twice. And my nervous system remained unaffected for the first time in my life. I didn’t ever expect my body to become regulated enough to be in a stressful, social situation and remain
calm
stable
erect.
It took years of committed practice, ego deaths and mentors. I’ll be honest, there’s no quick fix.
But if I can heal, so can you.
So what will you choose?
Continue to follow accounts for tips to gain charisma and confidence which make you play pretend?
Remain stuck in your self-aggrandizing victimhood?
Or will you invest in your emotional growth, return to your body, and find fulfillment in yourself?
The choice is yours.
Comments