This means that the same lessons will come up again and again, each time sinking into new places inside as you increase your capacity for reception over time.
There is no end goal to committing to this work. Once you see, you can’t unsee. This is a lifelong process. No going back into not knowing and numbness. Sticking your fingers into your ears going “La la la, I don’t want this anymore!” isn’t an option.
I remember this from myself. The shiny new world of trauma healing and self-help and somatic therapy looks like a promise of life never being hard again. Like the savior I’d longed for. The guarantee of safety.
There is no savior. There is no safety. Ever. Nothing and no one can guarantee anything.
But what will emerge is internal stability. You’ll hold your pole in the face of chaos. Not knowing won’t terrify you anymore. Emotions won’t be scary or too much. Situations which would’ve pushed your younger self into a mental crisis or gloom-and-doom overthinking don’t anymore.
That’s freedom. That’s sovereignty over your inner experience and outer expression.
We hide ourselves when we’re afraid of judgment, not being liked, not being accepted, facing rejection of who we are.
We hide when we’re unwilling to feel that pain.
Being willing to feel emotions and sensations which you deem uncomfortable, and holding yourself in that spot with total rightness, is a fcking superpower.
Being able to accept the reality of a situation and feel the grief, anger, and fear around it without denying or blanketing the reality opens the door for transformation.
Your nervous system can be so stable. Your verbal expression can be so clear and instantaneous. Your heart and pssy can be so connected and open each instant.
And there’s still no guarantee that you won’t encounter violation or pain or conflict. In fact, as you open more, you’ll totally have encounters that’ll push your buttons. That’ll test your willingness to be open and receptive and internally whole.
Each of these is another experience on the spiral. A chance to reflect on your internal state afterwards and how you handled the situation. It’s all information. Will you be victimized or grow?
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